Friday, July 29, 2011
the next challenge!
The world is full of dark places, and not the good kind of underground darkness that lets Plump Helmets grow. No, this is the evil, nasty, *goblin* kind of darkness. The (good kind) of light must be brought to these places.
It's time for a religious mission!
You have been chosen by the king to bring the touch of the dwarves gods to an area of evil. To archive this you must build an icon to attract the gods attention, and what better then a giant statue?
The statue must be built out of walls and floors, and the better the material used, the better. However, so as to not take away from the glory of the statue no other buildings or stockpiles may be above ground. No trenches may be dug, unless you fill them with lava. In fact, if it's not directly related to building the statue, don't build it above ground.
Finally, pump up magma to surround the statue in magma or, better yet, have it pour out of the statue somehow.
Elves and humans are not worthy of the dwarven light. Seize all goods their caravans bring and if they sent a diplomat, kill them.
(Note: danger rooms are fine, as are traps (built underground) to defend the inside of your fortress)
So...
We were told great fortunes lie
For those who brave the darkest pits
So we did down to the caves
And found the place was shit
We started out with simple things
Some beds, some farms, a stockpile of food
But then a Toad ate one guy
La di da da ditity dai!
Despite the death we struggled on
For the riches we could gain
Gems abounded within those walls
But they're also filled with pain
A croc attacked, we lost a dwarf
At that point I think we lost our minds
We all attacked, we went for the kill
La di da da ditity dill!
We chase the croc away, away
We were happy to see it go
But then the bloody toad came back
Bearing gifts of death and woe!
He joined the croc and killed us all
Until there was only one last dwarf
Mad from grief with bloodshot eyes
La di da da ditity dai!
So there was one last dwarf
Foaming mad and short of breath
He went after an Antmen nest
To end it all with his death.
He died of course, so listen here
If ever you're told of riches to be found
You tell them to fuck off and die
La di da da ditity dai!
Yeah...it wasn't a very successful endeavour.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Fortress 1...FAILED
Speaking of next attempt, I'm gonna try a much more militarised embark squad. Damn toads.
3rd Felsite 251
If your me you break out the pop-corn and play Yakety Sax.
Look at them run!
19th Slate 251
The cave crocodile just killed my last miner...
That's it, everyone attacking that crocodile till it dies, and then we'll go attack the random ant man colony I found.
And then...we'll re-embark...
12th Slate 251
Down to 5 dwarfs so far.
EDIT: scratch that, none of the remaining dwarfs have been injured :D
8th Slate 251
Feeling desperation kick in, I've assigned the remaining 6 dwarfs into a military squad and sending them all to attack both.
26th Granite 251
NO WAIT. IT WAS A TOAD. A GIANT FUCKING CAVE TOAD BIT BOTH OF HER ARMS OFF AND SHE BLED TO DEATH.
What kind of dwarf dies to a fucking toad?
Ok, turns out the toad is 3 times the size of a dwarf. That'll do it. Time to build some coffins I guess.
17th granite 251
I foresee some unhappy dwarves in the future...
12th granite 251
Decent looking embark site IF I DIDN’T HAVE TO GO
Ok...
" The challenge this week is that you must immediately dig into the caverns and build everything inside them. You may have one depot on the surface, but other than that everything must be in the caverns, rooms, nobles, barracks, dining halls, stockpiles, everything."
Oh joy...